Madonna Says She’ll Give You A Blowjob If You Vote For Clinton: ‘I Do Swallow’

March 20, 2017  

Madonna, a woman famous for both her musical prowess and her years-long sudden affectation of an English accent halfway through her life, has made an announcement:

She will give anyone a blowjob who votes for Hillary Clinton.

The statement came before introducing Amy Schumer on Tuesday night to her audience at Madison Square Garden.

She said,

Id better get off now because someone insanely funny is about to be on this stage, ladies and gentlemen. One more thing before I introduce this genius of comedy.

She explained it quite clearly:

If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob. OK? And I am good.

Check out her saying it in the video below:

She added in some disclaimers regarding her talent and experience in the form:

I take my time. I have a lot of eye contact. And I do swallow.

Now, this is obviously a funny and provocative thing to say, but shes also implicitly giving a nod to the vast unacknowledged undercurrent of this election is it is a conflict of genders.

This election, at its core, is a battle of the sexes.

This map from FiveThirtyEight shows how the country would vote if only men voted. Its pretty much the scariest idea ever.

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