Robert Pattinson Used To Enjoy Licking Kristen Stewart’s Armpits

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Well, this is awkward: Kristen Stewart gave an interview pre-breakup with Robert Pattinson to Vogue and they just ran it now. Here are the two most important quotes:

“My God, I’m so in love with my boyfriend. I wish he were here now. I think I want to have his babies.”

”I love the way he smells. And him me. Like, he loves to lick under my armpits. I don’t get this obsession with washing the smell off. That smell of someone you love – don’t you think that’s the whole point?”

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Paul Nassif is claiming that Adrienne Maloof would beat him in their divorce papers. (What is it about The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and physical abuse?)

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Kris Jenner thinks Honey Boo Boo’s mom June is exploiting her children. Kris Jenner. Mother to the Kardashians. Let that one sink in for a moment.

Damian Dovarganes, file / AP

Bob Barker is pissed that he was excluded from The Price Is Right’s 40th anniversary show, saying the show’s producers “chose to ignore me, which is fine” and “they haven’t even offered me a DVD.” Now Drew Carey cleared the air:

“It wasn’t because of animosity or anything like that … nobody has anything against him … it just didn’t occur to anybody to invite him personally to be on the show because it was a salute to contestants.”

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Page Six reports that E! is unhappy with Ryan Lochte — who they hired to be on-air talent for Fashion Week:

Lochte was tapped to appear on E! News as a fashion correspondent this week. But E! execs privately complain the gold medalist, who was famously flat in his Olympic interviews, is disappointing on camera.

“E! is regretting the decision. Even after media training, he’s still not sharp,” said an insider, who added producers are frustrated.

Um, jeah, obviously?

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Enrique Iglesias will probably be a judge on American Idol. Meanwhile, Mariah Carey says she could judge the show all by herself.

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Kanye West has been writing lyrics about Kim Kardashian in his music all along. In 2009’s “Knock You Down” he talks about Kim dating NFL player Reggie Bush:

“You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
To seem to only date the head of football teams
And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing
We were never meant to be, baby we just happened.”

Jason Biggs has found himself apologizing after he sent above tweet and Megyn Kelly of Fox News flipped out about it and called for Nickelodeon to fire him from the latest TMNT reboot.

Khloe Kardashian is rumored to be the frontrunner to host X Factor.

Danny Devito’s #trollfoot has gone psychedelic.

Cee-Lo is developing a scripted sitcom for NBC.

Sarah Hyland can balance her dog on her back for three minutes.

Drake wants to collaborate with Justin Timberlake.

Ha ha ha ha, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroger started dating on Canada Day.

Steven Tyler would like you to know that Aerosmith is back in studio.

Lil Wayne is suing Quincy Jones III for using his music in a movie about Lil Wayne. (I don’t get it, either.)

Demi Lovato called Simon Cowell an asshole.

Prince Harry is being deployed to Afghanistan, presumably for his bad behavior in Vegas.

Here’s Kristin Davis kissing an Uncle Jesse Full House doll.

Olivia Munn riding a motorcycle.

Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, there were a ton of celebs at the DNC last night.

Chavril Got Married On Canada Day

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Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne got married yesterday in France. On a Monday. Because it was Canada Day. You can see a few photos of Chavril’s special day here.

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Alicia Silverstone is organizing a breast milk swap for vegan mothers.

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Breaking Amish’s Kate Stoltzfus posed for Maxim.

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Tracy Morgan and his fiancé Megan Wollover welcomed a baby girl to the world earlier today.

Shia LaBeouf, Brad Pitt, and Logan Lerman hung out with soliders at the Fort Irwin training center to prepare for their upcoming movie Fury.

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Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton broke up after five years of dating.

Just in case you weren’t completely buying the rumor that Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill were dating, here’s a photo of Kaley staring at Henry that she tweeted on June 15.

KimYe supposedly turned down an offer of $3 million for baby photos.

However, Jonathan Cheban described the baby as “very light-skinned.”

An autopsy reveals that Kris Kross’ Chris Kelly died of an overdose.

Jennifer Lopez reportedly made $1.5 million for her performance in Turkmenistan.

Pierce Brosnan’s daughter Charlotte died of cancer.

Beverly Mitchell had her baby and named it Kenzie Lynne.

Colin Hanks also has new baby daughter!

And Jenni Pulos also had a baby girl!

Lou Reed reviewed Kanye’s new album.

Ashley Simpson went out with Diana Ross’ son.

David James Elliott and his dog at the beach.

Pharrell and Will.I.Am are fighting over the use of “I Am.”

These Beyoncé haikus are cracking me up.

Robert Pattinson went to a Beyoncé concert.

Cuba Gooding Jr. and drag queens.

Tiffani Amber Thiessen: still cute.

50 People You Wish You Knew In Real Life

1. Whoever managed to get this giant bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows

…so you can be their new best friend.

2. Whoever threw this party

…so you can have them plan your birthday.

3. Whoever this dog walker is

…so you can ask how he got so dang cool.

4. Whoever takes advantage of a heat wave like this

…so you can carpool with them.

5. Whoever this little girl that doesn’t trust monkeys is

…so you can ask her who won the staring contest.

6. Whoever did these hairstyles

Thanks, Ryn!

…so you can get some ideas for your next haircut.

7. Whoever just had their ice cream stolen by a bird

…so you can tell them that, hey, at least they still have half.

8. Whoever’s grocery cart looks like this

…so you can invite yourself over for dinner.

9. Whoever this skateboarding professor is

…so you can get a degree in BEING RADICAL!

10. Whoever these kids are

…so that when they’re President, you can say you supported them from day one.

11. Whoever this kid getting eaten by a camel is

…so you can find out if he ever got his revenge.

12. Whoever baby Kim Jong-Il is

…so you can give thanks for the NEW dear leader.

13. Whoever just hit this milestone

…so you can congratulate him.

14. Whoever gave these out to trick-or-treaters

…so you can shake their hand on a prank well done.

15. Whoever is giving these out

…so you can, uh, nevermind.

16. Whoever loves Wendy’s this much

…so you can get their opinion on Arby’s.

17. Whoever has this great of a name

…so you can meet his parents and find out why they named him that.

18. Whoever dressed up as Hall & Oates

…so you can get some ideas for a Simon & Garfunkel costume.

19. Whoever owns this sweater

…so you can “borrow” it.

20. Whoever can name a song this easily

…so you can find out what that damn song is.

21. Whoever these basset hounds belong to

…so you can thank them for their gift to society.

22. Whoever is holding this fat cat

…so you can ask if it would be a good way to work out your biceps.

23. Whoever is bench pressing a goose

…so you can ask if that’s a better way to work out than lifting a fat cat.

24. Whoever lives here

…so you can ask them about their intense rivalry with neighboring town Hoagieville.

25. Whoever looks like Cartman

…so you can head on down to South Park.

26. Whoever threw this birthday party for their dog

…so you can find out what EXACTLY was in that cake.

27. Whoever gave this person food

…so you can teach them how to eat.

28. Whoever owns this business

…so you can find out if they’re better than ight.

29. Whoever snuck this into a game

…and can do this

…so you can take them with you everywhere you go.

30. Whoever threw this tennis ball at this dog’s crotch

…so you can ask when he stopped laughing.

31. Whoever’s wedding party this is

…so you can ask what it’s like to get married at the bottom of the sea.

32. Whoever knows this shortcut

…so you can at least try to beat them in Super Smash Brothers…

or play them outside a Taco Bell.

33. Whoever pushed this pug down this slide

…so you can ask them when the pug knew this was a big mistake.

34. Whoever photobombed all these concert pictures

…so you can ask them to dance.

35. Whoever this ripped person is

…so you can find out their fitness secrets.

36. Whoever Lindsay is

…so you can ask her if she actually bought this photo, or just took a picture of the screens after the ride.

37. Whoever had to film this

…so you can ask them if they wish they worked for WB instead.

38. Whoever let their grandma take this picture

…so you can ask if she can do your headshots.

39. Whoever this luchador riding a motorcycle while riot police fire tear gas at him is

…so you can always feel safe.

40. Whoever is riding this scooter

…so you can ride in style.

41. Whoever’s desktop this is

…so you can find out more about their Shaqintosh.

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Ryan Lochte To Appear On “90210”

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Ryan Lochte will be guest-star on the 5th season of 90210 as a “guest at a resort where the recently-reunited Naomi and Max are staying in an attempt to strengthen their relationship.” Here’s hoping he also does a season of The Bachelor, though.

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CONFIRMED: Zach Galifianakis married his longtime girlfriend Quinn Lundberg over the weekend in Vancouver.

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After a terrible head-butting incident days earlier, Evelyn Lozada has filed for divorce from Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson.

Shia LaBeouf talked to New York Magazine about how he got involved – and naked – in that Sigur Rós video:

“I wrote a fan letter. I saw Bombay Beach, the movie that Alma Har’el made. It touched me. I told her so. She told me she’d like to work with me. I said, ‘What are you doing?’ She said, ‘I got this Sigur Rós thing.’ I said, ‘Cool. Can I get involved?’ And at the time, it was a different idea. So we worked on the idea for a week.”

Linda Hogan, ex-wife of Hulk Hogan, is starring in a new music video called “MILF” for rapper Ricky Romance. Unfortunately

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Katy Perry lost her bikini bottoms in a wave pool yesterday so in other words, click here to see the NSFW pics of Katy’s butt!

The Price Is Right is FINALLY going to cast some male models on the show.

Ron Palillo, who played Horshack on Welcome Back, Kotter died today of a heart attack. He was 63.

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Did Kim Kardashian’s butt get even bigger? I sure as hell don’t know, YOU be the judge!

Jeremy Renner on the Kardashians: “Oh, all those ridiculous people with zero talent who spend their lives making sure everyone knows their name. Those stupid, stupid people.”

Kelly Clarkson is soooo in love with her boyfriend, Brandon Blackstock.

Spocks new and old: here’s Zachary Quinto and Leonard Nimoy hanging out together.

Harvey Weinstein says that Sheryl Crow’s stalker also threatened to shoot him.

Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery did Harper’s Bazaar.

Kristen Chenowith has dropped out of her role on The Good Wife due to the head injury she sustained on the set last month.

Supposedly, Anderson Cooper was with his boyfriend on a yacht when the cheating photos came out online.

Kenny G has filed for divorce from his wife of 20 years.

PETA is raging after Lady Gaga wore a hot pink fur coat while shopping around town.

Bam Margera was arrested before his flight the other night because was disorderly and smelled of booze.

ZOMG, first pics of Jennifer Aniston post engagement.

Blake Shelton kissed Carson Daly on the mouth and that’s not at all weird in anyway.

Anna Kendrick can now add “hot blonde girl” to her list of characters she’s portrayed on film.

Somebody stole Will.I.Am’s crazy-expensive custom-made car.

Christina Aguilera has purple hair now.

Honey Boo Boo’s mother says that extreme couponing is “better than sex”.

Baywatch’s Donna D’Errico is recovering from injuries sustained while looking for Noah’s Ark while in Turkey. No joke!